emotional nudity

“I strip myself emotionally when I confess need – that I would be lost without you, that I am not necessarily the independent person I have tried to appear, but am a far less admirable weakling with little clue of life’s course or meaning. When I cry and tell you things I trust you will keep for yourself, that would destroy me if others were to learn of them, when I give up the game of gazing seductively at parties and admit it’s you I care about, I am stripping myself of a carefully sculpted illusion of invulnerability. I become as defenceless and trusting as the person in the circus trick, strapped to a board into which another is throwing knives to within inches of my skin, knives I have myself freely given. I allow you to see me humiliated, unsure of myself, vacillating, drained of self-confidence, hating myself and hence unable to convince you [should I need to] to do otherwise. I am weak when I have shown you my panicked face at three in the morning, anxious before existence, free of the blustering, optimistic philosophies I had proclaimed over dinner. I learn to accept the enormous risk that though I am not the confident pin-up of everyday life, though you have at hand an exhaustive catalogue of my fears and phobias, you my nevertheless love me.”

Alain de Botton, The Romantic Movement


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An afternoon of churros and tea

Faced with two research papers, looming deadlines and a pile of cases that needed reading, I turned to my #2 coping mechanism, baking. #1 being desperate prayer. I originally intended to make a dulche de leche cake, but decided against it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to copy with potential failure since it was a new, untested recipe. Instead, I turned to one of the most happy-making fun fair foods in the world – churros!!! I ate really amazing ones at San GinΓ©s Chocolateria in Madrid back in June ’11 and a pretty comforting one at Universal Studios Singapore in January ’12. Despite being a churros lover, I never realised it was made in a way similar to choux pastry (i.e. by cooking the dough over low heat) and never realised how cheap and simple it is to make! Never again am I buying this stuff outside for $4 at a themepark. Famous last words, really. Cue 3 months later in Universal Studios USA… “where are my churros!! gimmie my churros!!! i need churros!!! now!!!!!”

Well, till then, I’ll be making my own to satisfy every churro craving that I have. I got the recipe online but skipped out on making chocolate dipping sauce because I like my churros unadulterated. (Okay, I was also lazy.)

Recipe below*


Mmmmm. You can have these in 20 minutes. I kid you not.

Cinnamon sugar

The dough cooling in the stand mixer

Spanish you tiao πŸ™‚

These are a little light-coloured and under fried, they should have been fried another 3 min or so

I’ve never been very neat in the kitchen

The fun part

Tastes great with a cup of tea (or hot chocolate if you can afford the calories. I can’t.)

Happy faces all round πŸ™‚

The recipe: (with minor edits)

(Credits: http://simply-delicious.co.za/2011/10/16/churros-with-chocolate-dipping-sauce/)

Makes approximately 25 churros (depending on size)


1 cup water
1/2 cup salted butter (this is approximately 100g)
1 pinch of salt

2 tbsp sugar
1 cup plain flour
3 eggs
oil for frying

Cinnamon sugar:

3/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp ground cinnamon

  1. Start by making the cinnamon sugar. Mix the cinnamon and sugar together and set aside. I found it easiest to just throw everything into a small plastic bag and shake it (like a polaroid picture).
  2. In a saucepan, combine the water, butter, sugar and salt over low heat. Allow the butter to melt and stir everything together. Make sure the butter doesn’t burn!
  3. Sift in the flour and stir until a ball starts to form. Don’t panic if it looks lumpy at first, it will all come together nicely.
  4. Transfer the mixture to a stand-alone mixer or to a separate bowl if you are using a hand-held blender.
  5. Allow the mixture to cool for 5 to 10 minutes, or until it is at room temperature.
  6. Start beating the dough on low with a paddle attachment and add the eggs one at a time. Beat well after each addition. The mixture will become slightly sticky and more like a batter, but still thick.
  7. Place enough oil into a pot to fry the churros and allow to heat.
  8. Place the batter into a piping bag fitted with a star nozzle.
  9. When the oil is hot, pipe long shapes into the oil and allow to fry until golden brown, flip them over and fry on the other side. Continue until all the batter has been used.
  10. Coat the churros in the cinnamon sugar.
  11. Serve warm with a good cup of tea of hot chocolate.

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On love

2011: such unconventional ways of cheering a girl up! they worked.

banana cupcakes with a Lindt chocolate centre and chocolate-malt frosting topped with crushed maltesers πŸ™‚

truly amazing – tastes every bit as lovely as it look ❀

awwwwww πŸ™‚

Survival snacks, very perfectly timed! πŸ™‚ I just noticed though, why does the bear have a fig leaf covering…

so much love πŸ™‚

11pm dessert, san pellegrino, a rose and an unlikely friend.

2 desserts right after a 10pm korean bbq leads to…

hahaha happy valentines day!

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little bottles of… love potion number 9

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Eyes see storms. Faith sees Noah’s rainbow.

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Yesterday, right after telling me (while standing 5m away from the H&M sign) that “I always look out for the F&M sign”, my mom walked straight past the H&M shop, followed some stranger who had a back like mine, and got lost on Bond Street.

Today I had an extravagant lunch at Joel Robuchon, and I had a divine elderflower jasmine strawberry daiquiri. It was so good I wanted to dance on the table. On the tube ride back my mom said “please sit down if you want to be goofy”. I don’t even know what she means.

She was humming some xmas carol while we were outside our apartment freezing in the cold waiting for me to open the door with the bunch of keys but I insisted on jingling the keys and jumping around like a reindeer as accompaniment until she finished the entire song. My dad died a little inside.

Today’s an important day – 5 months and I remembered for the first time. πŸ™‚ About time I think. Miss you!

I haven’t bought any clothes!!! At all. πŸ™‚ Really really pleased. Now I’m just holding out till the 23rd where I can swoop into the shops, buy cheap reduced to clear Christmas crackers and gift wrap (I LOVE PACKAGING). Hooray.

And… Christmas morning this year will be spent at All Souls with my mom. It’s going to be special and I’m excited!

Ps: Tanneh NO TOBLERONE COOKIES ANYWHERE. I think the factory closed down when we left London, no one else to support the industry.

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pies, paint and a perfect day


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Filed under Crafts